I almost want an iPad (Or NO FARMVILLE FOR YOU!)

Quick math quiz - solve for X: Old Dell Laptop + X > iPad - X

The solution in just a minute, but first some background. I, like most of the free world spent a great deal of time following the live coverage of the new Jesus Pad powered by Unicorn Tears presented by Steve Jobs himself (instead of being a productive contributor to my employer). At first I was wondering what was wrong with me. I just wasn't beside myself with crazy fervor over the iPad. I must be running low on Apple Kool-Aid, surely they couldn't have totally whiffed what was supposed to be their most revolutionary gizmo ever. It was just a big ass iPod Touch, no wild hand flailing like a futuristic Tom Cruise in Minority Report, no wireless HDMI, and not even a single camera (let alone two of them).

At least the price was a bit of a surprise. Sure, it still out costs most serviceable netbooks and even some full notebooks, but for a first gen Apple product to be under 7 bones, that was pretty impressive. Still I kept wondering what was wrong with me, why wasn't I trying to figure out the best way to make this thing a part of my life? I simply decided I must be in the process of losing my cool, I am a parent after all, and by the time the kids hit middle school the cool will be completely gone anyway.

So I did something odd, I simply went on with my life and got back to work. Then my thoughts wandered off into the realm of how my wife and I use our computers at home. We each have our own laptops (I inherit her old ones, she gets the new ones.) My wife's MacBook is getting to be of a certain age, so soon it shall be mine, and my old Dell can find a new life on a farm where it can frolic and play with other decrepit computers.

Then thoughts of the iPad and the $499 entry price sunk in. Hey, you know you could buy TWO iPads for the price of a MacBook and each have your own shiny new Unicorn Tear powered device. No more stupid arguments over who's the most downtrodden second-class citizen in the family. Being at work, my mind shifted to use case and workflow analysis.

My wife and I pretty much do the same stuff on our laptops; we just sort of fart around with them after the kids go to bed. You know the same thing everyone does, e-mail, Facebook, web surfing and so forth. Hmm... the iPad does that, and it offers a seemingly better form factor (and no wobbly lid and loose hard drive cage like my Dell). Holy cow, now I get it... NOW I'M COOL AGAIN!

I was ready to start pitching my wife on the idea when we got home from work. And I started thinking a little bit more about the specific sites we visit on our laptops. Then I had a horrible thought: No Tiki Farm! No Farmville! CRAP! My wife more than me is addicted to one of these silly Facebook games, and then I realized, it's Flash based. Early reviews of the iPad confirm there's no Flash. After a quick inventory of the sites I visited frequently, I realized there was a lot of Flash involved. It's kind of a big deal

Sure we've all lived with iPhones without Flash for a long time now, but that's a different animal in my mind. I use the phone differently, sure it's sometimes a bummer to not have Flash support, but I still prefer to do a lot of things on a larger screen. Not having it on the iPad on the other hand is a serious problem. Basically, I would need to have the iPad AND still hang on to my rickety old Dell so I can whip it out when I feel the need to watch Hulu or any number of other tasks. The old laptop still can surf the web, and check e-mail and do everything else the iPad can do, except I can't turn it upside down, the screen would probably fall off or something.

Yeah that seems kinda stupid to me too. So the answer to our math quiz is flash: Old Dell + Flash > iPad - Flash. It can do all the web surfing, watching videos e-mail fairly competently as well as play stupid little games where I have to try and annoy enough friends into joining my quest to plant virtual pineapples.

Ok, well it's early in the game the iPad isn't in anyone's hands yet, maybe Flash can make it into the iPad at or shortly after shipping time. Also, perhaps pigs will fly.

But then again, Steve's reasoning was that the resource hog nature of Flash would melt the poor little iPhone into a quivering mass of molten mobile phone processor bits. The iPhone just couldn't give Flash the necessary resources. Ok, understandable I've seen how some apps simply make my poor phone whimper in pain. And of course being a dedicated fanboi, I'd never question His Jobbiness. Well, except there's one thing I don't quite understand Mr. Jobs - unlike the iPhone, by all accounts, the iPad runs like a stripe-assed ape. Imagine I said that last part like detective Columbo.

So if the iPad is a speed demon, is there actually a reason (other than it is kinda crappy) Apple will put forward as to why Flash won't work on it this time?

While I wouldn't mind cashing in my old Dell for my wife's gently used MacBook, I'd much rather have other options. I burn my incense and swing the dead chicken over my head at my little shrine of the great Apple (while facing Cupertino of course) and pray that there may be a lasting peace made between the houses of Adobe and Apple and the iPad could indeed become a respectable citizen of my leisure time.

I promise you Oh Great Jobs, I won't be greedy, I won't ask for Flash on the iPhone. I will trust in your wisdom in such magics, but please please let me live a peaceful existence of technical equity with my significant other.

Until then, you can find me at the store buying duct tape for my trusty old Dell.