Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Technorati Apple Kerfuffle: I'm taking my toys and leaving!

It's the "tastes great/less filling" argument of the internet raging between recovering Apple fans and the Kool-Aid imbibing remaining faithful. Only this time it's taking place between parties that have voices heard by many thousands. Thousands of people that include me. Since I have this here little blog that nobody actually reads, I get to be the little guy and complain about the "new media elite".

Not that I want to be a little guy, so for the record, according to Google AdSense, I've made 3 cents since I've started this endeavor. Anyone using this against me in 5 years in some stupid comment flame war, please note that I don't choose to be either famous or unknown, I simply am (how Zen-like).

Now on to the back story. For those of you who somehow missed it or are uninterested and came here looking for a recipe for bourbon chicken, here's a brief rundown of the things about which I'm going to bitch and moan.

CEO of Mahalo.com (some may say internet blowhard) Jason Calacanis wrote a little missive to his mailing list and on his blog about his frustrations with some of the business practices in which Apple is engaged. Previous to that other notable internet-types like Mike Arrington publicly and proudly threw their iPhones into the virtual bonfire and said Apple had abused them for the last time.

Now, I don't want to repost the contents of these posts on this blog, nor do I want to inadvertently put words in others mouths, so I encourage you to, you know, go catch up on this stuff if you haven't already. Anyway, to summarize my understanding of these stances is that Apple is too restrictive, their practices kill innovation, Apple isn't the cool little beatnik writing 'zines and slam poetry it used to be, now it is THE MAN! As they go forward, they're going to be more and more closed and oppressive and one day will own your brain. Oh yeah and AT&T is teh suck.

To be fair, I'll now exaggerate and over simplify the other side's counter arguments. These arguments tend to range between "STFU you M$ Whore" to some well thought out point by point rebuttals. Many of the rebukes tend to go somewhat in the direction of Apple's control makes life easier for the consumer.

Since you didn't ask, here's my opinion on the matter anyway. I think both sides make a valid point. Apple's secret sauce is really its tight control over all aspects of the experience. The reason I love stuff like OS X and the iPhone is because the hardware and software design work together to form a solid experience. You simply can't get that from more diverse platforms, Microsoft has to support far too much hardware. Linux of course can range from really elegant stuff that works to frustrating technical problems and UIs that make MySpace pages look like zen gardens, it's all up to the user and the community so it's a complete mixed bag.

On the other hand, yeah Apple has made more than its share of bungles in the App Store, the latest of which as caught the ire of the government. It'd be great to have Blu-Ray and any number of other innovations that other hardware enjoys. I've jailbroken my iPhone before and managed not to bring down AT&T's network.

Of course, I restored my phone back to factory settings some time after jailbreaking because I preferred my phone to actually be stable. That's really the thing, I mean what's the point of these arguments about openness anyway? Should Apple just open up the doors until they're just another Linux distro? That would totally defeat the purpose of having a player like Apple, sometimes it's nice to have a little bit of a guided experience. It's sort of like the difference between a dune buggy and a monorail. Both will get you somewhere, but the experience is vastly different and appeals to different people.

Ok my dear reader (and I do mean that singularly I think there's only one of you). I promised to rail against the elite bloggers and "new media" bourgeois dammit! It's actually kind of nice to hear the classic Apple based flame war move on from Microsoft v. Mac and into the practices of Apple exclusively, but that's about the only new thing.

I've seen this exact same activity countless times on every subject imaginable. Anyone who has spent any significant time in a forum (or if you're old like me, BBSes and Usenet) has seen this whole thing play out. What I'm talking about is that disgruntled poster who threatens to leave but never actually does because they're attention whores waiting for someone to beg them to stay. Nobody ever begs them to stay. Here's a sample of the average discourse.

Poster 1: You guys are so ignorant and closed-minded about (movie/comic/starship captains/software/anything). I clearly am not appreciated here, so I'm going to stop posting.

Poster 2: Ok

Poster 1: I mean it, this is just a waste of my time, I remember when this forum used to be great and everyone really believed in (x).

Poster 2: I thought you were leaving

Poster 1: I am

Poster 2: Ok

Poster 1: I mean it, I'm really leaving.

Poster 3: sorry you don't like it here, good luck wherever it is you're going.

Poster 1: I just wish you guys would learn to treat everyone with respect

Poster 4: Can I have your stuff?

Poster 1: Hey guys, did you hear that (dubious news source) posted an article about (x) That's (fantastic/retarded).
That's kinda what this whole thing seems to be like to me. People just screaming at the top of their lungs.

Look at me! I'm going against the status quo! I think different. You can't fence me in!
- sent from my iPhone.

It's not that I think people shouldn't move on if they think a particular product isn't right for them. Different people have different needs, that's cool and all. But first of all, does it really need to be a federal case? And more specifically to this topic, if you're really against closed systems, my question to you is what flavor of Linux are you running?

And... Can I have your stuff?